My midlife transformation
Do you ever get a little phrase in your head that you can’t stop thinking about? . But don’t know where it came from?
Midlife transformation was one of those. It just came to me. I didn’t know what it meant. But instantly, I wanted one.
I was never obsessed with menopause symptoms. I was fortunate I could cope with what I was experiencing, but was obsessed with a sense that life was changing around me, knowing I had two choices, to either sit and watch it change and let things happen to me. Or go out and make a new life.
Facing my biggest fear
My biggest fear was feeling lost when my daughter eventually left home. (She’s still here and tells me quite bluntly, that one of her biggest disappointments is that she’s not moved out yet. Oblivious to the panic I feel when she reminds me!)
I didn’t want to be left behind with an empty house and a hole in my heart.
One of the wonderful things about having children is seeing the world through their eyes. I wanted to be genuinely excited for her for on that day, knowing it would be the start of her adventures, and I wanted that to be the day I went off to have my own adventures too.
But the reality was that I was menopausal, struggling with a lot of things, starting to feel my age, feeling the fear or unknown symptoms lurking ahead of me. Feeling tired of everything but under the unchanging pressure of responsibilities that kept me stuck in my life as it was. Without room to breathe. Without the energy to change. Without the clarity to know what I wanted to change.
After years of being focused on my career and being a mum I’d lost sight of what made me tick. It was easier to hang around the house ‘being on call’ incase someone needed me, than do something for myself.
Feeling needed was what I relied on for validation, but now I wasn’t needed as much. Half the time, I was doing things no-one asked for or even noticed. Making work for myself gave me the perfect excuse, not to spend time on myself, because I had no idea how to fill it.
How could I change my life if I didn’t know what I wanted?
The only thing I could think of was to tackle things I could control - my health, fitness, and mindset.
Project me coming to life
The first change was finding time for myself. Letting things go. Looking for ways to make my life easier, finding space to breathe and think.
That first step was so important - it gave me respite from the constant noise in my brain, the headspace I needed to pay more attention to myself, how I felt, what I wanted, what made me happy.
Next came learning to be more assertive. I’d been reacting to other peoples demands and emotions for years, so it was time to get back into the driving seat of my life. That meant thinking for myself, making decisions on my own, breaking the habit of asking for approval before I did anything. Becoming comfortable with putting myself first, saying no sometimes, and letting people wait instead of dropping everything to make myself available.
The revelation of no-one noticing
These changes take time. At first I barely noticed them; tiny decisions, a greater awareness of my default settings, taking opportunities to break bad habits, spotting opportunities where I could take back control of my day.
As I did this, I realised no-one else really noticed. I wasn’t making anyones life harder or inconveniencing anyone. My family were happily going about their lives as normal. For the first time, I could see how much pressure I’d put on myself over the years, and more importantly, I saw I had the power to take that pressure off.
Eventually I began to feel more rested and less stressed. I had space in my mind, and space in my day to explore ideas about what I wanted, and then came the drive to start doing!
Getting out of my comfort zone
And that’s what brought me to the challenges I’ve undertaken over the past year. Committing to a nutrition and exercise routine that I’ve stuck to for over 10 months - a harder process than I anticipated. I only succeeded because I prioritised myself and committed to doing the work. There were so many times when I wanted to give up, when I struggled to stick with it, when I went backwards. But I kept going back. Starting again, refusing to give up. Trying to understand the reasons why I was struggling, so I could keep making progress.
The skills and discipline I got from my 30lb weight loss project, gave me confidence in other areas of my life.
Creating the life I want now
I took my business online after Christmas 2024. This was an enormous step. A decision which meant switching off half of my income overnight, to give me the time I needed to build up an online business - because that would give me the freedom I wanted in the future for when my daughter left home.
Then, I signed up for some physical challenges. I wanted to see what I was capable of now. A 53 year old post menopausal woman not on HRT. A very ordinary person. Not an athlete - by any stretch! I have no genetic predisposition that makes me a natural at any type of exercise or physical activity.
I simply wanted to see what I could do if I put my mind to it.
First I booked a 100 mile coast to coast event in Scotland, followed by a 10 mile trail run, a half marathon and finally a marathon at the end of this year. If my joints hold up to the miles I put in this year, I’ve got bigger plans for 2026 - I want to do an ultra event I’ve got my eye on.
I feel excited about my future, but I also want to make the most of every day I have with my life as it is now.
Enjoying the journey
As I write this my daughter is pottering around the house while she’s studying for her A levels. We have breaks together and go for walks most evenings and I cherish every moment I get to do that.
So I guess this is my midlife transformation in progress. My plan B.
When those words first came into my head, I had no idea how it would turn out - I had no idea what I wanted.
But what I’ve got from this process is this. A sense of purpose. The confidence that I am still capable of doing hard things. That makes me feel strong, powerful, relevant. It’s giving me the opportunity to experience joy, excitement and satisfaction most days.
And for the first time in my life, I understand the phrase, enjoy the journey.
Yes there are ups and downs, but I’m more resilient. I can let a bad day pass without being totally derailed, because after going through this process I am mentally stronger, more in control of my emotions and how I react to situations, and have a greater awareness of the many things that I can do to make my life feel better.
My midlife transformation started by focusing on what I ate and how I moved. I could never have imagined how those simple changes had the power to change so much more.
Your midlife transformation starts here
If you want a midlife transformation and don’t know where to start, maybe starting with your health will be the best first step to take. To book a call with me to start your journey to a strong and capable mid life, click the button below.